ONE!

 I am ONE!

 Mommy attempted to make a "Princess and the Pea" cake.

 Brother stole a few bites!

 So big!

 HMae's very first baby doll.

She loves her baby!

The summer heat nearly melted us all but we survived Miss HMae's first birthday! Thank goodness for that massive water slide that kept the little kiddos cool. 

Here we are nearly one month later and thank you notes are still being written partly because life is insane right now and partly because Koen thought it was a good idea to crinkle my list of b-day gifts and their givers and dunk it in his cereal bowl! Illegible now of course.

I wanted to update you all on HMae's latest journey.

We took a trip down to CHLA just a few days after the big celebration. This trip was just me and my favorite girl. She enjoyed the trip much more this time because she got to face forward!!! My ears are grateful for the lack of screaming due to the constant streaming of The Lorax.

I know, I know, I am that mom.

She had an ultrasound early morning followed by our very least favorite test called a Mag3 Lasix. The Mag3 involves an IV and catheter:( She was less than thrilled! Prior to the insertion of her catheter we had the whole triage room giggling with HMae's silly faces and games. She is a very social girl!

Their giggles subsided quickly once her screaming began. This girl has a serious set of lungs.

This was after 23 minutes of solid screaming. I was so relieved to finally get her to sleep. I'm sure the staff was too. Especially after hearing me attempt to sing every lullaby in the book. Tone-deaf doesn't even begin to describe my singing ability.

A few days later we found ourselves up at Dad's condo helping Lynn clear out everything he left behind. She has found a place to call her own and I know she will thrive there. I was not and probably could never really be fully prepared to go through each box and finger through every little thing. Since that day I have learned so much more about him. Something I am very thankful for. Something I adore about him was that he kept every little thing I ever gave him. He hung on to the menu from our wedding rehearsal dinner. A letter I wrote home from summer camp. He printed every email I ever sent him. I love him for that.

Just two days after we got home from San Ramon we were back on the road again to CHLA. This time we grabbed Grantie K along the way. She always keeps us in good spirits. And she knows how to shop! Even better. Our schedule was light this time with only one appointment to follow up with HMae's urologist Dr. De Filippo. Just as we expected surgery was suggested to correct the kidney and ureter.

On November 26th, Dr. De Filippo will preform surgery on Haddie Mae where her ureter enters the bladder. He is going to try to open up the ureter so that the kidney can function properly by allowing fluid to flow more freely through her ureter and into her bladder. He will then re-implant her ureter into her bladder. Her incision will be much like that of a Cesarian section. The surgery has risks of course but at this point the wait and see what happens approach has a greater risk.

And for some reason I am having a harder time with this surgery. I know we have to do this and I know I will get it together before than but there is just something about it that is driving me mad. It might be the fact that her last surgery is still so fresh or just the thought that her tiny perfect skin will have to bear a scar.

She is one amazing little girl and we could not be more blessed by her presence. This little girl has taught me more about life in the last year than I have learned in all 27 years I have graced this earth.

Before you rest your head tonight... write a little note send it off to your grown kids, kiss the little ones while they sleep, then take a breath and live in this moment!